Is it normal to feel low even after a positive result?

Yes. Relief and anxiety often sit together after a positive test, particularly in early pregnancy, and this is a common experience rather than a sign anything is wrong.

Should I go to counselling if I feel like I'm coping fine?

Counselling isn't only for people who feel they're struggling. Many people find it useful to have a neutral space to talk through decisions and feelings even when they feel broadly okay.

How do I support a partner going through IVF?

Ask them directly what kind of support they want, since this varies a lot between people and even between cycles for the same person. Attending appointments together where possible is often appreciated.

Is it normal for a relationship to feel strained during treatment?

It's common for the pressure of treatment to show up in a relationship, especially around appointments and the two week wait. Talking openly about it, or seeking counselling together, can help.

What if I don't want to tell family or friends about treatment?

That's entirely your choice. Many people manage IVF privately and rely on their clinic's support services or peer groups instead of people in their personal life.

The emotional side of IVF

Written by Zayn Miah & R KhanomLast updated 17 September 2026Not clinically reviewed

Short answer: IVF is emotionally demanding because it combines hope, uncertainty, hormonal changes, and waiting, often over months or years, with no guaranteed outcome. Many people describe the two week wait and a failed cycle as the hardest parts. Support is available through counselling offered by clinics, patient organisations, and your GP, and it is worth using before you feel you have run out of coping.

Why IVF affects people so much

IVF asks a lot of a person at once. There are injections and medication side effects, frequent scans and appointments that disrupt work and routine, financial pressure if treatment is self funded, and long stretches of waiting for results with no way to speed anything up.

On top of that, the outcome is genuinely uncertain each time, and it is common to feel that your body or your relationship is being tested even when everyone involved is doing everything reasonably possible.

Common feelings at different stages

During stimulation: relief that treatment has finally started, alongside anxiety about scan results and medication side effects.
After egg collection: physical recovery combined with an anxious wait to hear the fertilisation report.
The two week wait between transfer and the pregnancy test: this is often described as the hardest stretch, since there is nothing left to actively do.
After a negative result: grief that can be complicated by the fact that few people around you may know what you were going through.
After a positive result: cautious relief, sometimes mixed with anxiety about early pregnancy, rather than straightforward joy.

Relationships and IVF

Partners often cope differently and at different speeds, which can create friction even when both people want the same outcome. It can help to agree in advance how much you want to talk about treatment day to day, and to check in with each other about what support actually feels helpful, rather than assuming.

HFEA licensed clinics in the UK are required to offer patients the opportunity to have counselling about the implications of treatment. This is not just for people in crisis, it is available to anyone going through IVF, and it's worth asking your clinic what is included and whether extra sessions can be booked if you want them.

Telling other people, or not

There is no right answer about who to tell. Some people find sharing with a few trusted people reduces the isolation of treatment, others prefer privacy while going through it. Either choice is reasonable, and it's fine to change your approach between cycles.

Where to find support

Ask your clinic what counselling is included as part of your treatment and how to access it.
Your GP can also discuss how you're coping and refer you for additional support if needed.
Patient organisations run peer support groups and forums specifically for people going through fertility treatment.
If a cycle does not work, ask your clinic for a follow up appointment to talk through what happened, not just what to do next clinically.

Looking after yourself day to day

There is no formula that makes IVF emotionally easy. Simple things like protecting sleep where you can, being honest with your employer about appointment needs if that feels safe, and giving yourself permission to step back from things that feel too much during a cycle, can all make a difficult stretch slightly more bearable.

Questions people ask next

Is it normal to feel low even after a positive result?: Yes. Relief and anxiety often sit together after a positive test, particularly in early pregnancy, and this is a common experience rather than a sign anything is wrong.
Should I go to counselling if I feel like I'm coping fine?: Counselling isn't only for people who feel they're struggling. Many people find it useful to have a neutral space to talk through decisions and feelings even when they feel broadly okay.
How do I support a partner going through IVF?: Ask them directly what kind of support they want, since this varies a lot between people and even between cycles for the same person. Attending appointments together where possible is often appreciated.
Is it normal for a relationship to feel strained during treatment?: It's common for the pressure of treatment to show up in a relationship, especially around appointments and the two week wait. Talking openly about it, or seeking counselling together, can help.
What if I don't want to tell family or friends about treatment?: That's entirely your choice. Many people manage IVF privately and rely on their clinic's support services or peer groups instead of people in their personal life.

Words on this page

Sources

IVF: what is IVF and how does it work?, HFEA (UK fertility regulator). Link checked 17 September 2026.
IVF overview, NHS. Link checked 17 September 2026.
Choose a fertility clinic, HFEA. Link checked 17 September 2026.

Written by patients, not clinicians. This page has not yet been reviewed by a named fertility professional, so it explains published guidance and points you to the original source instead of giving medical advice. It is not medical advice. Decisions about your treatment belong with your own clinic. Read our editorial policy and corrections policy.